Status

The other day in my acting class we were doing a thing called a “status exercise”. My teacher pointed out that all day long human interactions are based on “status” flexing its muscles, bending down to another, or dynamically changing. In this exercise, in a matter of moments, each one of us would say or do things to raise or lower our status within the group. Someone would apologize, give a compliment, admit to a weakness, feign popularity, give a command, submit to another’s suggestion, etc. The “status change” could be tangibly felt.

How do you talk to your little brother? In some degree or another it is influenced by the fact that your “status” is higher. Now say that your mother walks into the same room. I bet you that the way you act will change a bit, in some part to defer to her “higher” status. When I’m at college the dynamics and status’s of my life are different than when I’m home for Christmas in my parent’s house. Sometimes we call status names, like “Senior companion”, “Chief Executive Officer”, “Father”, “Manager”, “Director”, but most of the time status’ are simply felt, implied, and understood.

As a missionary in Taiwan, we saw this status fluctuation all the time. Taiwanese people in general think Americans are the bomb. They place an American’s status above their own and treat them well and defer to their actions or words. If a Taiwanese didn’t know I was a missionary, I received this treatment. As soon as he saw the missionary tag, however, they would often treat me poorly, ignoring me, cussing at me, or treating me like a child, since they were used to seeing missionaries and treating them this way. Travis didn’t change, but all of a sudden my status in the eyes of that person changed drastically. Don’t we do the same in restaurants too? A nice young lady would be treated very well in most situations. But once she’s got that “McDonalds” namebadge on and she is “slow” on an order or messes up, she is treated like someone with a lower status.

Status is different than “popularity”, although sometimes synonymous. High School most clearly defines status in terms of preps down to nerds and the totem pole in between. Some people feel their status is higher. Oftentimes the confident people will be the ones who act in the highest status. Maybe that’s why we dash on a bit of cologne or try to look or best or act certain ways—to give us that edge of confidence and that up in status among our peers.

Gender, race, personality (reds and yellows may feel their status is higher than others), and tons of factors can lead to influencing status. Relationships too are influenced by who “feels” in charge.

And again, status one way or another isn’t necessarily good or bad. This was simply an observation and something that is very real. So my invitation to you today is to analyze your relationships with your family, roommates, teachers, neighbors, waitresses, plumbers, and anyone else. And think about what your status dynamic with that person is, and if it’s where you want it to be.

See, status isn’t just a facebook term. It’s a way of life.