I posted this article on my facebook a year ago:
Yesterday I had a realization.
Christmas. What is it? Is it a single day? No. Is it a season? Not exactly. Is it an idea? Not only. Christmas is:
A gift from God. It is such a huge gift that we, as humankind, can have a whole time set aside where we are better people. We give more service. We think about others more. We are happier and more joyful and hopeful about life. We catch the big picture of things. God in his mercy gave us this time to know what it feels like to be truly Christlike.
And then it hit me: it’s not Christmas that’s the gift at all. It’s Christ. God gave us Christ to make our lives better and give us a chance to be happy and be saved. That is Christmas. It is Christ. And in this season is it any wonder that when we are focusing on Christ’s birth and life and example we are happier, more giving, more complete people? Christmas is also:
A lesson from God. If, during this time of being what Christians should be, we find ourselves happier and in love with life and helping others, why in the world don’t we do that all the time? Part of this life is to learn and grow and become Christlike people, and during Christmas God gives us a free sample of what it feels like. God is trying to tell us that we can have this feeling with us all the time.
Christmas is not a day or a season. It’s a gift and lesson from God. Christmas is Christ. Living like Christmas is the way we can follow Him to become more complete and happy and love those around us.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Circle Circle Dot Dot
Want to do something epic?
Have someone stand in the middle of the floor. Stare into their face and pretend like you are a video camera, like a really nice one. Now, continually staring at their face, walk speedily around them in a circle, slightly below their head level. While doing this, hum some sweet theme song from Star Wars or Inception. It feels like the person you are circling is at some huge life crossroads and that they have to make a decision at that exact moment. Everything has come to this and they are at the point of no return. The decision encircles them and the suspense builds until....
Try it. It’s cool.
Have someone stand in the middle of the floor. Stare into their face and pretend like you are a video camera, like a really nice one. Now, continually staring at their face, walk speedily around them in a circle, slightly below their head level. While doing this, hum some sweet theme song from Star Wars or Inception. It feels like the person you are circling is at some huge life crossroads and that they have to make a decision at that exact moment. Everything has come to this and they are at the point of no return. The decision encircles them and the suspense builds until....
Try it. It’s cool.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk
I learned this week why that axiom exists. Spilled milk is definitely something to cry over.
It happened on my way home from WalMart. I had just finished grocery shopping and had to run into Best Buy for something. When I opened my trunk, I found that a tiny hole in my milk carton had leaked about 1/5th of the milk into the carpet of my trunk. I had always heard the advice/adage that spilled milk should be cleaned up quickly because of how it will sour and smell bad. But, myself, having never had the experience of spilling milk and leaving it soak, ignored the age-old wisdom. I figured it wasn’t much milk, it was only in my trunk, time would take care of it, etc..
Well I was wrong. The next day the whole car smelled absolutely putrid. And the day after that it only got worse. I was absolutely amazed by the power of a little bit of spilled milk. Eventually I went online and googled, “how to get sour milk smell out of car” and went to work with baking soda, vinegar, and various drying techniques. It took a few tries, but thankfully the smell has now been conquered.
But what a lesson. In life, don’t we do this all the time? Our parents, history, and society so often give us wisdom. Wisdom and advice about girls, cars, college, raising kids, etc. But until we actually experience something for ourselves or actually see a real problem, we don’t really internalize the message or lesson. We all inadvertently choose to “learn the hard way” most every time.
But in some ways I’m grateful. A car full of spoiled-milk-smell is quite an experience. So is getting a flat tire. Or getting dumped. Or finding out in…whatever way…that “ya know what….they were right”.
But honestly, take it from me. Clean up the spilled milk ASAP.
It happened on my way home from WalMart. I had just finished grocery shopping and had to run into Best Buy for something. When I opened my trunk, I found that a tiny hole in my milk carton had leaked about 1/5th of the milk into the carpet of my trunk. I had always heard the advice/adage that spilled milk should be cleaned up quickly because of how it will sour and smell bad. But, myself, having never had the experience of spilling milk and leaving it soak, ignored the age-old wisdom. I figured it wasn’t much milk, it was only in my trunk, time would take care of it, etc..
Well I was wrong. The next day the whole car smelled absolutely putrid. And the day after that it only got worse. I was absolutely amazed by the power of a little bit of spilled milk. Eventually I went online and googled, “how to get sour milk smell out of car” and went to work with baking soda, vinegar, and various drying techniques. It took a few tries, but thankfully the smell has now been conquered.
But what a lesson. In life, don’t we do this all the time? Our parents, history, and society so often give us wisdom. Wisdom and advice about girls, cars, college, raising kids, etc. But until we actually experience something for ourselves or actually see a real problem, we don’t really internalize the message or lesson. We all inadvertently choose to “learn the hard way” most every time.
But in some ways I’m grateful. A car full of spoiled-milk-smell is quite an experience. So is getting a flat tire. Or getting dumped. Or finding out in…whatever way…that “ya know what….they were right”.
But honestly, take it from me. Clean up the spilled milk ASAP.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
100 Girls
-----Reader: Please please please don't get offended from reading the following post. I don't mean it to be derogatory to anybody by any means. It's just a blog entry and some random thoughts, so please take it only as such. Thanks!
100.
It was a lot like New Years, or the day that I had been home from Taiwan for a year, or the day I became a teenager. It was a time for reflection. Last week I went on a date with the 100th different girl since I turned 16. Not 100th date, but rather the 100th different girl. Yeah.
Naturally, I ran some statistics on the data (I’ve been keeping a date log since I began dating). Here are the numbers:
-51 were pre-mission dates (when I was 16-18) and 49 were post-mission (21-22)
-88 were Mormon
-51 were roughly the same age, 37 younger, and 12 older (although it should be noted that most all of the girls I seriously dated in high school were older than me. As an RM at BYU it’s harder to come by girls older than guys).
-59 were Brunette, 30 Blonde, 6 Black, and 5 Red (most of the blondes were post-mission for some reason).
-27 of the 100 girls I dated are now married. Several are on missions.
-I averaged 2.81 dates/girl. So of course there were the few girls that I dated dated and took on 20 something dates and then a lot of the one-shot dates that took down the average.
It’s been interesting looking at patterns and thinking of how things ended, or how friendships are currently going with each one of them. Obviously I’m not married yet, and in all honesty I would love to be married and for everything to just fall into place. It'd be so nice to have one person to have fun with, take care of, get to know super super well, and love.
My sister Camille in many ways set the precedent. She married the 105th guy that she went on a date with. So maybe there’s still hope for me ☺. When she hit the 100 mark she wrote an interesting blog about ice cream. Many people in the world have not gone on as many dates as us Hancocks. It’s just in our nature to like to date. My little brother Braden will probably hit 100 as well. In likening dating to ice cream, many people in the world have partaken of a few ice cream flavors, such as chocolate, strawberry, and peanut butter. Because of this, it’s easy for them to pick their favorite ice cream because their mind remembers these flavors only. After having 100 different flavors of ice cream, however, it becomes very hard to pick a favorite. Every variation of chocolate, fruit, peanut butter, mango, caramel, sprinkle, cake better, and topping has been explored.
And so for now I’ll keep on going! I honestly don’t know who #101 will be, and maybe there won’t even have to be one.
But let it be written and let it be known, Travis Hancock has dated 100 girls.
100.
It was a lot like New Years, or the day that I had been home from Taiwan for a year, or the day I became a teenager. It was a time for reflection. Last week I went on a date with the 100th different girl since I turned 16. Not 100th date, but rather the 100th different girl. Yeah.
Naturally, I ran some statistics on the data (I’ve been keeping a date log since I began dating). Here are the numbers:
-51 were pre-mission dates (when I was 16-18) and 49 were post-mission (21-22)
-88 were Mormon
-51 were roughly the same age, 37 younger, and 12 older (although it should be noted that most all of the girls I seriously dated in high school were older than me. As an RM at BYU it’s harder to come by girls older than guys).
-59 were Brunette, 30 Blonde, 6 Black, and 5 Red (most of the blondes were post-mission for some reason).
-27 of the 100 girls I dated are now married. Several are on missions.
-I averaged 2.81 dates/girl. So of course there were the few girls that I dated dated and took on 20 something dates and then a lot of the one-shot dates that took down the average.
It’s been interesting looking at patterns and thinking of how things ended, or how friendships are currently going with each one of them. Obviously I’m not married yet, and in all honesty I would love to be married and for everything to just fall into place. It'd be so nice to have one person to have fun with, take care of, get to know super super well, and love.
My sister Camille in many ways set the precedent. She married the 105th guy that she went on a date with. So maybe there’s still hope for me ☺. When she hit the 100 mark she wrote an interesting blog about ice cream. Many people in the world have not gone on as many dates as us Hancocks. It’s just in our nature to like to date. My little brother Braden will probably hit 100 as well. In likening dating to ice cream, many people in the world have partaken of a few ice cream flavors, such as chocolate, strawberry, and peanut butter. Because of this, it’s easy for them to pick their favorite ice cream because their mind remembers these flavors only. After having 100 different flavors of ice cream, however, it becomes very hard to pick a favorite. Every variation of chocolate, fruit, peanut butter, mango, caramel, sprinkle, cake better, and topping has been explored.
And so for now I’ll keep on going! I honestly don’t know who #101 will be, and maybe there won’t even have to be one.
But let it be written and let it be known, Travis Hancock has dated 100 girls.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Punctuality
Aladdin: Princess Jasmine, you're very...
Genie: Wonderful! Magnificent! Glorious!... Punctual!
Aladdin: Punctual!
Princess Jasmine: Punctual?
Genie: Sorry.
Aladdin: Uh... uh... beautiful!
Genie: Nice recovery.
For some reason, I have always been deathly afraid of being late to things. I’m afraid of missing out on information or excitement, of letting someone down, of standing someone up, or of not respecting someone’s time, or whatever. No matter what the occasion- be it a practice, a party, a meeting- I have got to show up on time. The idea of being fashionably late has no appeal. If I say I'm going to be there at 5:37, then I will be there at 5:37.
Recently, however, I have started to realize that most of the world does not share my views. I tell people that something starts at 4, and they don’t come til 4:15. I show up to an event “starting” at 8, and it doesn’t actually get going until 8:45. So rare is the event that actually starts when it says it will. And even rarer is the event when all the participants show up on time. People either do not take the responsibility of checking the clock and managing themselves to show up on time, or else they purposely come late to make an appearance or play some silly social game.
And so I come to a crossroads. Do I conform to the world by showing up late to things and save myself countless hours of standing around waiting for people? Or do I continue showing up on the nose, feeling snuggly self-justified and slighty irritated towards others? Or do I mix the two by showing up on time and expecting others to show up late, thus not creating violated expectations when they are indeed late? It will probably have to be the third option. Maybe I’ll just always carry a crossword puzzle in my back pocket to save the time.
I don’t know. Is being late to things morally wrong? Is it a form of lying? I think in some ways it is. Or is it just culture? And is following a culture wrong? Can I blame a culture? Personally, I think Aladdin was right on—punctuality is a great trait for anyone and is a reflection of their respect to other people. Because think about it, every time you’re late you are making somebody wait on you. It’s basically saying, “yeah, whatever I am doing is more important than whatever you had planned.”
But I choose not to base any anger on a societal norm. Because anger is a choice, just as what we set our expectations to be is a choice.
Yeah, I’ll just stick with the crossword puzzle.
Genie: Wonderful! Magnificent! Glorious!... Punctual!
Aladdin: Punctual!
Princess Jasmine: Punctual?
Genie: Sorry.
Aladdin: Uh... uh... beautiful!
Genie: Nice recovery.
For some reason, I have always been deathly afraid of being late to things. I’m afraid of missing out on information or excitement, of letting someone down, of standing someone up, or of not respecting someone’s time, or whatever. No matter what the occasion- be it a practice, a party, a meeting- I have got to show up on time. The idea of being fashionably late has no appeal. If I say I'm going to be there at 5:37, then I will be there at 5:37.
Recently, however, I have started to realize that most of the world does not share my views. I tell people that something starts at 4, and they don’t come til 4:15. I show up to an event “starting” at 8, and it doesn’t actually get going until 8:45. So rare is the event that actually starts when it says it will. And even rarer is the event when all the participants show up on time. People either do not take the responsibility of checking the clock and managing themselves to show up on time, or else they purposely come late to make an appearance or play some silly social game.
And so I come to a crossroads. Do I conform to the world by showing up late to things and save myself countless hours of standing around waiting for people? Or do I continue showing up on the nose, feeling snuggly self-justified and slighty irritated towards others? Or do I mix the two by showing up on time and expecting others to show up late, thus not creating violated expectations when they are indeed late? It will probably have to be the third option. Maybe I’ll just always carry a crossword puzzle in my back pocket to save the time.
I don’t know. Is being late to things morally wrong? Is it a form of lying? I think in some ways it is. Or is it just culture? And is following a culture wrong? Can I blame a culture? Personally, I think Aladdin was right on—punctuality is a great trait for anyone and is a reflection of their respect to other people. Because think about it, every time you’re late you are making somebody wait on you. It’s basically saying, “yeah, whatever I am doing is more important than whatever you had planned.”
But I choose not to base any anger on a societal norm. Because anger is a choice, just as what we set our expectations to be is a choice.
Yeah, I’ll just stick with the crossword puzzle.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Status
The other day in my acting class we were doing a thing called a “status exercise”. My teacher pointed out that all day long human interactions are based on “status” flexing its muscles, bending down to another, or dynamically changing. In this exercise, in a matter of moments, each one of us would say or do things to raise or lower our status within the group. Someone would apologize, give a compliment, admit to a weakness, feign popularity, give a command, submit to another’s suggestion, etc. The “status change” could be tangibly felt.
How do you talk to your little brother? In some degree or another it is influenced by the fact that your “status” is higher. Now say that your mother walks into the same room. I bet you that the way you act will change a bit, in some part to defer to her “higher” status. When I’m at college the dynamics and status’s of my life are different than when I’m home for Christmas in my parent’s house. Sometimes we call status names, like “Senior companion”, “Chief Executive Officer”, “Father”, “Manager”, “Director”, but most of the time status’ are simply felt, implied, and understood.
As a missionary in Taiwan, we saw this status fluctuation all the time. Taiwanese people in general think Americans are the bomb. They place an American’s status above their own and treat them well and defer to their actions or words. If a Taiwanese didn’t know I was a missionary, I received this treatment. As soon as he saw the missionary tag, however, they would often treat me poorly, ignoring me, cussing at me, or treating me like a child, since they were used to seeing missionaries and treating them this way. Travis didn’t change, but all of a sudden my status in the eyes of that person changed drastically. Don’t we do the same in restaurants too? A nice young lady would be treated very well in most situations. But once she’s got that “McDonalds” namebadge on and she is “slow” on an order or messes up, she is treated like someone with a lower status.
Status is different than “popularity”, although sometimes synonymous. High School most clearly defines status in terms of preps down to nerds and the totem pole in between. Some people feel their status is higher. Oftentimes the confident people will be the ones who act in the highest status. Maybe that’s why we dash on a bit of cologne or try to look or best or act certain ways—to give us that edge of confidence and that up in status among our peers.
Gender, race, personality (reds and yellows may feel their status is higher than others), and tons of factors can lead to influencing status. Relationships too are influenced by who “feels” in charge.
And again, status one way or another isn’t necessarily good or bad. This was simply an observation and something that is very real. So my invitation to you today is to analyze your relationships with your family, roommates, teachers, neighbors, waitresses, plumbers, and anyone else. And think about what your status dynamic with that person is, and if it’s where you want it to be.
See, status isn’t just a facebook term. It’s a way of life.
How do you talk to your little brother? In some degree or another it is influenced by the fact that your “status” is higher. Now say that your mother walks into the same room. I bet you that the way you act will change a bit, in some part to defer to her “higher” status. When I’m at college the dynamics and status’s of my life are different than when I’m home for Christmas in my parent’s house. Sometimes we call status names, like “Senior companion”, “Chief Executive Officer”, “Father”, “Manager”, “Director”, but most of the time status’ are simply felt, implied, and understood.
As a missionary in Taiwan, we saw this status fluctuation all the time. Taiwanese people in general think Americans are the bomb. They place an American’s status above their own and treat them well and defer to their actions or words. If a Taiwanese didn’t know I was a missionary, I received this treatment. As soon as he saw the missionary tag, however, they would often treat me poorly, ignoring me, cussing at me, or treating me like a child, since they were used to seeing missionaries and treating them this way. Travis didn’t change, but all of a sudden my status in the eyes of that person changed drastically. Don’t we do the same in restaurants too? A nice young lady would be treated very well in most situations. But once she’s got that “McDonalds” namebadge on and she is “slow” on an order or messes up, she is treated like someone with a lower status.
Status is different than “popularity”, although sometimes synonymous. High School most clearly defines status in terms of preps down to nerds and the totem pole in between. Some people feel their status is higher. Oftentimes the confident people will be the ones who act in the highest status. Maybe that’s why we dash on a bit of cologne or try to look or best or act certain ways—to give us that edge of confidence and that up in status among our peers.
Gender, race, personality (reds and yellows may feel their status is higher than others), and tons of factors can lead to influencing status. Relationships too are influenced by who “feels” in charge.
And again, status one way or another isn’t necessarily good or bad. This was simply an observation and something that is very real. So my invitation to you today is to analyze your relationships with your family, roommates, teachers, neighbors, waitresses, plumbers, and anyone else. And think about what your status dynamic with that person is, and if it’s where you want it to be.
See, status isn’t just a facebook term. It’s a way of life.
Monday, September 27, 2010
The Rise of All Conflict
Stop and think of the last time you got upset, mad, or bothered about something. With 99% accuracy I can tell you the basic cause of that controversy. VIOLATED EXPECTATIONS. In our mind we expect things to be a certain way. We expect our friend to treat us the way we would like, we expect to get that part we wanted in the play, we expect that that car next to us is going to stay in its own lane and not cut us off, we expect to not get the flu or the cold, we expect that our 5 year old sibling is not going to break the cookie jar. We inadvertently lay out all these expectations for ourselves and our world, and then without fail they are broken. And thus, with VIOLATED EXPECTATIONS there is controversy.
And SO, what you’ve got to do is change your expectation and you can be happy all the time. I don’t get mad or upset about things. Have you seen it happen? Bet you haven’t. The kid is 5, of course he’s probably going to break the cookie jar, so when he does break the cookie jar just enjoy the fact that he’s a fun little kid. It’s a highway---just pretend like the guy in the next lane first opened his window and said, “hey buddy, in about 4 seconds I’m going to drive in front of you and cut you off”. And then when he does, it will be quite a pleasurable experience. Therefore, I invite you all to do two things:
1. Clarify Expectations for others: tell that girl when you’re going to call and how often and she won’t ever get upset or anxious since the expectations have been laid. If you tell her, “hey I’m just going to call twice a week”, then when you don’t call her every day she won’t be mad or hurt at all. She’ll think you’re responsible. Tell your new roommate exactly what they should expect about your messy habits. I had a roommate at college who told us he would do the dishes when his turn came around, but he didn’t and everyone was upset (except me ). If he had told us right away that, “Hey guys, I have trouble doing the dishes and I probably won’t do them”, then we would have all felt pleasantly smart as we watched his prophecy come true.
2. Expect the Obvious: of course that kid is going to cry-he’s two. Of course it’s going to rain on the picnic day—and if you expected it then it’ll be again, a pleasant experience!
I'm not saying be pessimistic. Quite the contrary. But optimism is different than expectation. Run in smooth harmony with how the world is going and you'll be very successful.
On my mission in Taiwan my mission president Michael Hoer laid the underlying principles behind this theory and he is one of the happiest, most successful people I know. He has lived in a different culture most of his life and rather than trying to change the world around him to meet his expectations, he loves life and the Chinese culture around him, and makes sure to expect what is going to happen with the food, traffic, customs, etc..
Clarify expectations and have the right expectations yourself. Think again of that last time you were mad or had conflict and I bet that now you can see precisely why it happened. You expected one thing, perhaps subconsciously, and got another.
I am going to end this article in exactly 6 words.
See, wasn’t that a pleasant experience.
And SO, what you’ve got to do is change your expectation and you can be happy all the time. I don’t get mad or upset about things. Have you seen it happen? Bet you haven’t. The kid is 5, of course he’s probably going to break the cookie jar, so when he does break the cookie jar just enjoy the fact that he’s a fun little kid. It’s a highway---just pretend like the guy in the next lane first opened his window and said, “hey buddy, in about 4 seconds I’m going to drive in front of you and cut you off”. And then when he does, it will be quite a pleasurable experience. Therefore, I invite you all to do two things:
1. Clarify Expectations for others: tell that girl when you’re going to call and how often and she won’t ever get upset or anxious since the expectations have been laid. If you tell her, “hey I’m just going to call twice a week”, then when you don’t call her every day she won’t be mad or hurt at all. She’ll think you’re responsible. Tell your new roommate exactly what they should expect about your messy habits. I had a roommate at college who told us he would do the dishes when his turn came around, but he didn’t and everyone was upset (except me ). If he had told us right away that, “Hey guys, I have trouble doing the dishes and I probably won’t do them”, then we would have all felt pleasantly smart as we watched his prophecy come true.
2. Expect the Obvious: of course that kid is going to cry-he’s two. Of course it’s going to rain on the picnic day—and if you expected it then it’ll be again, a pleasant experience!
I'm not saying be pessimistic. Quite the contrary. But optimism is different than expectation. Run in smooth harmony with how the world is going and you'll be very successful.
On my mission in Taiwan my mission president Michael Hoer laid the underlying principles behind this theory and he is one of the happiest, most successful people I know. He has lived in a different culture most of his life and rather than trying to change the world around him to meet his expectations, he loves life and the Chinese culture around him, and makes sure to expect what is going to happen with the food, traffic, customs, etc..
Clarify expectations and have the right expectations yourself. Think again of that last time you were mad or had conflict and I bet that now you can see precisely why it happened. You expected one thing, perhaps subconsciously, and got another.
I am going to end this article in exactly 6 words.
See, wasn’t that a pleasant experience.
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